theLeif.org

Baton Rouge — Nuclear explosions are now no longer covered by Leif's State Farm car insurance policy. Neither is fungal bodily injury as of 1 July, 2003.

Our Founder received his latest car premium in the mail this week and with it a two-page notice entitled "Important Notice: Regarding Changes To Your Car Policy". He was happy as always to receive reductions for such things as being accident free and a god-like figure for the nation's youth. However he was mightily perturbed to learn of his reduction in coverage.

"What am I supposed to do now when terrorists detonate a nuclear device near my car? I am practically uninsured now," said our dear Founder. "And don't even get me started about fungus."

Here are selected selections from the notice:

• 1. DEFINED WORDS
  The following definition is added:
  • Fungi - means any type or form of fungus or fungi and includes:
    1. mold;
    2. mildew; and
    3. any of the following that are produced or released by fungi:
       1. mycotoxins;
       2. spores;
       3. scents; or
       4. byproducts.
• 3. SECTION II -- MEDICAL PAYMENTS -- COVERAGE C
  The following is added to What Is Not Covered:
  1. THERE IS NO COVERAGE FOR BODILY INJURY THAT RESULTS FROM EXPOSURE TO FUNGI.
  2. THERE IS NO COVERAGE FOR BODILY INJURY THAT RESULTS FROM:
     1. NUCLEAR REACTION;
     2. RADIATION OR RADIOACTIVE CONTAMINATION FROM ANY SOURCE; OR
     3. THE ACCIDENTAL OR INTENTIONAL DETONATION OF, OR RELEASE OF RADIATION FROM, ANY NUCLEAR OR RADIOACTIVE DEVICE.
• 4. SECTION IV -- PHYSICAL DAMAGE COVERAGES
  The following is added to When The Physical Damage Coverages Do Not Apply:
  1. THERE IS NO COVERAGE FOR:
     1. LOSS TO ANY PROPERTY DUE TO FUNGI, unless the fungi is the direct result of a loss payable under [blah blah blah]...
     2. TESTING OR REMEDIATION OF FUNGI, REGARDLESS OF WHETHER OR NOT THE FUNGI IS THE DIRECT RESULT OF A LOSS PAYABLE UNDER ANY OF THE PHYSICAL DAMAGE COVERAGES.
  2. THERE IS NO COVERAGE FOR LOSS TO ANY VEHICLE THAT RESULTS FROM:
     1. NUCLEAR REACTION;
     2. RADIATION OR RADIOACTIVE CONTAMINATION FROM ANY SOURCE; OR
     3. THE ACCIDENTAL OR INTENTIONAL DETONATION OF, OR RELEASE OF RADIATION FROM, ANY NUCLEAR OR RADIOACTIVE DEVICE.